Depressed

I was.

I had everything. By the worlds standards mine had been a Cinderella story and I was now living in the castle. 

I had been alone, a struggling mother of two teenage daughters, driving a beat-up $300.00 car that was on it's last leg and living in a "borrowed" mobile home. Then, everything changed. I met my prince and he rescued me, he really did. We were in love 💕......

Not long after the prince came, we moved to another state (a promotion for him) to begin a new life together. We bought a house on 5 wooded acres, which was paradise for me and very close to my "dream" home. I got a new-for-me car, started a job that I loved with a small law firm, and for the first time in many, many, many years I was able to shop, not just for food and essentials, but for clothes and make-up and decorative items for our home. My girls were finishing school and would be coming to live with us soon. I had everything that I had ever wanted, and then some......(So what happened...🤔) 

The prince had been raised Catholic, but was not practicing. I grew up in a small Baptist church, beginning my walk with God at the age of 14. I was an excited youth for Christ but as the years passed and life events happened, I grew cold and eventually I turned my back on God. As my Cinderella story unfolded and came to life, we began to have many long talks about God and how we both longed to re-establish a relationship with Him.

We found a church that we both liked. A small, Southern Baptist church in the country with a wonderful Pastor (our age) and wonderful people. They embraced us and welcomed us into the fold. We became involved in church activities.....(So why did I become depressed...🤔😞)

I was depressed. I said I didn't know why...but inside, I think I did....

I sought out a Christian counselor/psychologist and was able to find one that I really liked. I spent a lot of time with her and we dissected my life...growing up as a child of an alcoholic parent, etc... but no flash of insight came.

Here's what was wrong: The prince and I were living in sin. We had not yet gotten married...because...we were waiting on his divorce to finalize. Yep, I had been rescued and my life had been radically changed -- I no longer had to stress over bills -- I no longer had to shop from a very short grocery list...I was driving a nice car...I had a nice house...I shopped for clothes whenever I wanted...we vacationed at Hilton Head Island...we had mini-vacations to Myrtle Beach...but we were NOT married. Not at that point. We later married, and my depression went away eventually - but that is NOT the point of my story....(I can't tell a short story).

Here's the point guys: When we become BORN AGAIN, we are born of incorruptible seed -- we receive God's DNA. What was once "natural" for us, becomes "un-natural" if it goes against the Word of our Lord. My God DNA was incompatible with a life of "living in sin." I could NOT be at peace and have the Joy of the Lord while living against what my heart KNEW was not right in His eyes. This is what JOHN was talking about in 1 John 3:9, which says:

"No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."

Can we practice acts of sin in our fleshly bodies? Of course we can! We have that total free will. But....can we continue to practice sin and be at peace? No. No we can't. We can dumb-down our senses to the point that we enjoy sin for a season, but if we have the incorruptible seed of God in us, eventually we are going to find ourselves absolutely miserable. And depressed.

So, what I am saying to you in this message/blog is this...Actually, I am asking you: Are you experiencing depression in your life that is NOT caused by anything you can put your finger on? If so, I am inviting you to create a spiritual map in your mind. Start with how you are feeling and trace backwards to the people and events that are going on in your life. Are there any "red flag" areas that pop up? Things that you have in your life that you KNOW goes against God's laws? And I'm not just talking about the 10 commandments here - I'm talking about all of the teachings by the apostles and Jesus......IS there a THING in your life that should not be there? A person, a relationship, a false idol (which can be anything of value to you)?

Keep digging...if there isn't a THING you can pinpoint (but I imagine that there is), then ask yourself if you have given God a place of honor in your life. Do you devote conversation time to him? Do you talk over the things that you are dealing with, with Him? Do you have have Coffee with Jesus? Just think on these things...

I believe that The Holy Spirit will reveal things to you if you simply follow the steps I listed above. ASK HIM to show you the root of your depression. Take a pen and paper and write down what He shows you - and he WILL show you. Then....dig out that root and destroy it. Give it to God. If it is something as black and white as my relationship was - then fix it. Let God guide you...He will tell you what you need to do, he really will.

When I was in the Christian counseling, after un-earthing every possible thing in my childhood, we finally came to the crux of the matter. The counselor told me what I already knew...I was living against God's will, and I had to fix it if I wanted to. be free of the dark cloud that covered me. And I did.

Depression is a terrible place to dwell, and we don't have to live there. My prayer for you today is that you search and find....and heal.  Amen.