What do I do with This Day?

I did not aways think this way.

I never used to wonder how my day would play out when I woke up in the mornings. I knew. I had an order to my day, a schedule and a routine. For the most part, I always woke up with the promise of a God encounter and a great day. At least that is how I remember things. But you know, Merle Haggard recorded a song with these lyrics that I have never forgotten, he said: "I guess everything does change, except what we choose to recall." 

AH HA!! Do you see it? Maybe my glory days weren't as perfectly golden as I think they were...maybe I am just choosing to recall them that way. It doesn't really matter - except it does. Because the higher the bar on the wonderful memories, the harder it will be to ever reach the bar again. And WHAT exactly is the bar?

The "bar" my friend, is to wake up knowing that today I will encounter God and that He will show me WHAT I am supposed to do with this day.

Retirement can suck the life from us if we let it. That is to say, that if we once had a career, a job that we loved and excelled at, and our days were structured around that job....Well...when the job goes, all our structure falls away...we flounder...some actually take wind under their wings and SOAR, while other of us (yes, I am an "other") plummet to the ground and can't quite seem to get strength back in our legs to stand, let alone fly....and so very often when our eyes open in the morning we are sad, we feel alone, we feel disjointed, directionless, and we wonder "What do I do with this day?" I've talked before about how long I flopped around, how low I sunk, how deep my pit grew, etc., before I took back my life, so I won't recount all of that. Just suffice it to say that I DID take it back, and I DID reconcile with God, and I DO seek His face, and I AM aware that He still has a purpose for me...yet, I am am still at the place where I wake up like the last three lines of the previous paragraph!

What do we say then? What do we do when we have come so far and yet far hasn't been far enough? Life still looks like a disjointed jigsaw puzzle with not much rhyme nor reason to our day? What DO we do? What CAN we do?

This is moment where I'd love to shout and say "Whoopee!! God gave me the answer and NOW I'm gonna give it to you!!"

Except it isn't. Because He didn't, and I can't give what I haven't received. This is the moment where I'm trying to avoid any cliches like life being hard, and waiting on God...but it CAN be hard, and WAIT is all we can do sometimes....

But listen, here is the GOOD NEWS....He doesn't make us wait long. Not, if we breathe out that morning prayer that asks Him to direct our steps...not long at all.

This morning was a blank page for me, they mostly all are now that I am retired. So I asked Him before I stepped out of bed to show me what He wants me to do today and to direct my steps...and then I listened to Joseph Price a little, and then John Hagee a little, and then a little podcast on prayer...I looked up some blessings to pray over our children (with my great-grandson in mind)...some Messianic Jewish prayers...made some coffee and sat down to type....

"What do you want me to do today, God?" I asked again...what can I say to encourage someone when I don't even know how to encourage myself? (And I asked in in bold, italicized thoughts/words!!).....my phone rang....

Shortly I will be leaving to go and pick up the child I was praying for...this wasn't a planned visit...he isn't feeling well so he will come and spend the next week with me. 

Didn't God know I was concerned about him? Or maybe it was GOD who put the concern on my heart...preparing me for my day. And no, this isn't a major Moses assignment but it IS my God assignment for this day!

So now I know what I am going to do with this day.

Talk to Him! Talk to him in BOLD letters! I'm convinced He will talk back pretty quick!

Goodspeed!!!!

 Why Am I Here?

Once upon a time I was so very sure of my purpose in this world. I knew I was where God wanted me to be, and I was doing what He had called me to do.....

And then, in the blink of an eye, my world changed...years had passed...I was older...I was living in a different place...I was no longer employed by the ministry that was so fulfilling to me...I woke up as a senior citizen, retired, not married, no longer totally independent, and not working.

It was/is like time just stopped and I am frozen in a spot that I cannot seem to move from. Limbo...not quite belonging anywhere anymore.

I am 69 years young. I live with my youngest daughter...and sometimes with my oldest daughter...limbo.

Some days I feel so lost...like a particle floating that has nothing solid to attach to...no close friends who live near enough to visit...not a part of an active, thriving local church. How do I exist in this place? Have you ever been in this place?

Yet...God. He is in this place. At that sentence I release a long breath of relief. I could not live in limbo without Him. You see, He trained me well. My past job required that I immerse myself in scripture searching for answers for women struggling to break free of addiction and begin a new life. I wrote copious notes that I transcribed into computer documents....I created study guides specific to issues different ladies were dealing with....how to find peace...how to find joy...and HOW TO DEFINE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE instead of letting your circumstance define you.

And I kept copies of everything I created and every hand-out I used in classes and every workbook we used. BECAUSE...addiction is no different from any unhealthy place we find ourselves in. No matter what brings us to a place of discontent and needing to change, the answer is always the same....God. 

And I don't mean that in the churchy, Sunday school way. I mean getting involved personally with the One who created us. Searching the scriptures for answers, and listening...yes listening, to hear the Still Small Voice...because when we LISTEN, God will speak...and when God speaks you will want to run to Him to hear more. And when you start running to God, everything that you wanted to leave behind just falls to the wayside like weeds dying out in the winter. The old life is DEAD, the new life is calling and it is full of encounters with Father - OUR Father.

So, as I sit here today and ask again "Why am I here?" "What is my purpose?" "How do I break free of this 'limbo'?".....I have just given myself the answer. It's the answer that I knew all along but had somehow forgotten...

The answer is to immerse myself in the Word, look for His voice, and most of all....BE STILL and listen for the Still Small Voice...and when He speaks (and He will), I will run to Him and He will (always has) propel me towards the Plan (there is still a plan for me)...He will stir up excitement and joy..and this limbo will fall away....and He will show me the next step. In the past, I learned that when I did this - small delights showed up - Father would give me something that I wanted and maybe had not even ASKED for...the desires of your heart start to appear and there are jewels along the path....

Age is just a number. I dislike that cliche BUT it is true. It IS just a number and guess who isn't counting? God....because God knows we are eternal (even if we forget - He doesn't) so this year in my life is no different to Him than any other...His plan for me and you hasn't changed.

I don't know how to wrap this up other than to say, I needed this today.

Godspeed!

 Depressed

I was.

I had everything. By the worlds standards mine had been a Cinderella story and I was now living in the castle. 

I had been alone, a struggling mother of two teenage daughters, driving a beat-up $300.00 car that was on it's last leg and living in a "borrowed" mobile home. Then, everything changed. I met my prince and he rescued me, he really did. We were in love 💕......

Not long after the prince came, we moved to another state (a promotion for him) to begin a new life together. We bought a house on 5 wooded acres, which was paradise for me and very close to my "dream" home. I got a new-for-me car, started a job that I loved with a small law firm, and for the first time in many, many, many years I was able to shop, not just for food and essentials, but for clothes and make-up and decorative items for our home. My girls were finishing school and would be coming to live with us soon. I had everything that I had ever wanted, and then some......(So what happened...🤔) 

The prince had been raised Catholic, but was not practicing. I grew up in a small Baptist church, beginning my walk with God at the age of 14. I was an excited youth for Christ but as the years passed and life events happened, I grew cold and eventually I turned my back on God. As my Cinderella story unfolded and came to life, we began to have many long talks about God and how we both longed to re-establish a relationship with Him.

We found a church that we both liked. A small, Southern Baptist church in the country with a wonderful Pastor (our age) and wonderful people. They embraced us and welcomed us into the fold. We became involved in church activities.....(So why did I become depressed...🤔😞)

I was depressed. I said I didn't know why...but inside, I think I did....

I sought out a Christian counselor/psychologist and was able to find one that I really liked. I spent a lot of time with her and we dissected my life...growing up as a child of an alcoholic parent, etc... but no flash of insight came.

Here's what was wrong: The prince and I were living in sin. We had not yet gotten married...because...we were waiting on his divorce to finalize. Yep, I had been rescued and my life had been radically changed -- I no longer had to stress over bills -- I no longer had to shop from a very short grocery list...I was driving a nice car...I had a nice house...I shopped for clothes whenever I wanted...we vacationed at Hilton Head Island...we had mini-vacations to Myrtle Beach...but we were NOT married. Not at that point. We later married, and my depression went away eventually - but that is NOT the point of my story....(I can't tell a short story).

Here's the point guys: When we become BORN AGAIN, we are born of incorruptible seed -- we receive God's DNA. What was once "natural" for us, becomes "un-natural" if it goes against the Word of our Lord. My God DNA was incompatible with a life of "living in sin." I could NOT be at peace and have the Joy of the Lord while living against what my heart KNEW was not right in His eyes. This is what JOHN was talking about in 1 John 3:9, which says:

"No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."

Can we practice acts of sin in our fleshly bodies? Of course we can! We have that total free will. But....can we continue to practice sin and be at peace? No. No we can't. We can dumb-down our senses to the point that we enjoy sin for a season, but if we have the incorruptible seed of God in us, eventually we are going to find ourselves absolutely miserable. And depressed.

So, what I am saying to you in this message/blog is this...Actually, I am asking you: Are you experiencing depression in your life that is NOT caused by anything you can put your finger on? If so, I am inviting you to create a spiritual map in your mind. Start with how you are feeling and trace backwards to the people and events that are going on in your life. Are there any "red flag" areas that pop up? Things that you have in your life that you KNOW goes against God's laws? And I'm not just talking about the 10 commandments here - I'm talking about all of the teachings by the apostles and Jesus......IS there a THING in your life that should not be there? A person, a relationship, a false idol (which can be anything of value to you)?

Keep digging...if there isn't a THING you can pinpoint (but I imagine that there is), then ask yourself if you have given God a place of honor in your life. Do you devote conversation time to him? Do you talk over the things that you are dealing with, with Him? Do you have have Coffee with Jesus? Just think on these things...

I believe that The Holy Spirit will reveal things to you if you simply follow the steps I listed above. ASK HIM to show you the root of your depression. Take a pen and paper and write down what He shows you - and he WILL show you. Then....dig out that root and destroy it. Give it to God. If it is something as black and white as my relationship was - then fix it. Let God guide you...He will tell you what you need to do, he really will.

When I was in the Christian counseling, after un-earthing every possible thing in my childhood, we finally came to the crux of the matter. The counselor told me what I already knew...I was living against God's will, and I had to fix it if I wanted to. be free of the dark cloud that covered me. And I did.

Depression is a terrible place to dwell, and we don't have to live there. My prayer for you today is that you search and find....and heal.  Amen.

 Faith that Manifests...

When I began this blog in 2010-2011 (? not quite sure), I was living on-site and working for a faith based recovery center for addicts and alcoholics. My life was "alive" with possibilities. I absolutely loved my job and as time went on I moved into a little bungalow that could not have been more perfect if I had custom ordered it and I became more involved on the "recovery" side of our ministry. I taught classes and counseled women in recovery - directing them towards one goal - a deep and meaningful relationship with our Father.Life was good. Life was wonderful. But life has a way of changing things around on us....

In 2015 I retired and moved to a different part of the state to be near my children and grandchildren. I had great plans.....and you know how that goes.....

I laid down the background to bring you to where I am today, so that together you and I might figure out what my life will become.

Today, I am an unemployed "mature" female, who calls herself an "Artist and Writer." I am totally dependent on my daughters for a place to live and for a chunk of financial support.

My life is not where I want it to be.

I had 6 years of struggle. In the pit. My relationship with Father diminished and my problems increased. I dealt with physical pain, mental "breakdowns" and spiritual deafness.

Until I said, "no more" and meant it. I climbed out of the pit and I am standing, looking out over the vastness of what lies beyond. I have wants and desires for my life that I know God has already taken care of and put them in that place that must be accessed, in fact can ONLY be accessed - by FAITH. Whew!

I desire independence. To be in a position of not having to depend on others to support me, or provide shelter for me. I desire to be successful in my art and writing career. 

The Bible tells me that God wants to give me the desires of my heart (if they line up with his Word). His Word tells me that I am the head, and not the tail. His word tells me that he will provide for me according to his riches in glory. His Word is filled with all kinds of promises, and his promises are always, 'yes, and Amen,' meaning - they are MINE, and YOURS, not just Abrahams and Davids and whoever else we can name from scripture. His Word tells me that I can (must) speak to the mountain and it will move.

Are you with me? Are you following? My desires already exist because they are the SUBSTANCE of faith. It is up to ME to move the mountain and bring into my life the EVIDENCE. Jesus didn't tell the disciples to ask the Father to move the mountain, he told THEM to SPEAK TO THE MOUNTAIN and it would move.

So...this is where I stand today. I am looking at this mountain..... It is an independent life, and a successful art and writing career. That is my mountain. That is what God has given me...all I have to do is bring it to life by faith!

How simple it sounds!! How HARD it is to live!!

I have vowed to picture myself already there. I speak and say that I am financially independent and I am a successful Artist and Writer. Do I need to clarify success? I have no desire to be wealthy, I only desire to be in the position that God created me to be at this point in my journey - and that, is success.

I picture myself having already attained these things. I will imagine that to be my station in life until it becomes my reality.

Can I do this? My faith, will it become alive and active? I absolutely MUST believe that I can, and it will.

I am inviting y'all (yep, y'all) to come along with me and see. Follow my life as it unfolds. I am as Abraham who introduced himself as the father of many nations - even before he ever had a child....I am introducing myself as Vickie, successful Artist and Writer.

Let the journey begin....

 And Then...

Pink Floyd had a song called "Time" with these lyrics:

"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you...."

And THIS, my friend, is where I find myself today in the blogging world! I have been absent for 10 years, more or less...and Oh! what a journey it has been.

I will not lie. From the mountain top... to the pit. In the pit, pulling debris on top op me, repeating past mistakes, using past "fixes" which amounted to nothing but debris which covered me up and weighed me down even further in the pit.

Yes, me...the one who writes of "joy" and "victory" and having the Enemy "under my feet." That one, that Me.

What happened?

My story isn't important (but I will share if requested). What IS important is that I found myself defining myself by 2 Samuel 1:27 "How the mighty have fallen. And the weapons of war perished!"

Yep....that was me.....

Notice, that above I said "I defined myself." because therein lyes a very important key. How we define ourselves, is how we will live. "Our actions will always reflect what we believe to be true about ourselves, even if what we believe is a lie." (Mark Winslett). I wallowed in a pit because I saw myself as "fallen." I didn't think I knew how to get up again....

But guess what? I know what Father says about me. So many things....I was born again of "incorruptible seed."....I am the righteousness of God in Christ....I am a child of the Most High God....No weapon formed against me will prosper...I have the Holy Spirit living in me and the same power that raised Jesus from the dead! (I can provide scripture for all of this).

I COULD NOT remain in the pit. I was not created for the pit. The DNA that came with the incorruptible seed is comparable to "pit-living."

I climbed out. And friends, I am here to tell you that it was a long, hard climb. It has taken me nearly 10 years to climb out. (Actually 7 years, but it felt like 10!!!)

You know, Joseph found himself in a pit (Genesis 37). His brothers put him there...hmmm...can family put family in a PIT? Oh, absolutely. My family did not put me in my pit, but I dug that pit by putting the cares and difficulties of family "drama" first, instead of...GOD FIRST....

Family matters, physical pain and POOR CHOICES...disobedience....that dug my pit. (well, I dug. my pit, but those things provided the digging tools). Again....it's not the details of my pit that are important.

What is of MAJOR IMPORTANCE is that no matter how deep we find ourselves in a hole, or how far we have fallen, God's arm is not shortened and He always, always, always hears our cries of distress. And no matter how much shame we have reaped upon our heads, or how many times we chose a "Thou shalt not" over the will of Father - He STILL wants to put the ring on our finger and the robe on our shoulders!!!!!

Can you shout that to the heavens? Can you? I can, because my Father extended His hand and I took it and climbed out of the pit!!! 

Joy is flooding my soul as I write this because it is my new reality...it is how I now define myself....daughter of the King and possessor of the KINGDOM. That is the reality in which I choose to define my life today. And if I believe this to be TRUE (and it is), then my life will reflect what I believe!

Are you in a pit? Darlin' don't stay there....you don't have to live there anymore...

Come back home. Jesus just wants his kids to come home! (borrowed those last words from my "Rabbi" Mark Winslett.

COME ON HOME!!!!!

All the "Bad Stuff" in our lives.....stop giving credit to Satan....you rule over him....read on.......

Why do we “blame” God for sickness, (“It must be God’s will…”)?

 Why do we give the devil credit for sickness (“It is an attack by Satan”)?

The truth is before us, where we always find truth: The Bible.

Gen 2:16-17 "And the LORD God commanded the man, 'You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.'"

Sickness originated in the Garden, by the choice of man. “You will surely die.” The very first indication of sickness in His Word. Adam and Eve ushered in sickness by buying in to the deception of the enemy (read the story).

Our enemy is NOT a CREATOR. He cannot bring anything into our lives that wasn’t invited there from the disobedience of our very first earthly “father” – Adam.

And this is not about blaming Adam.

This is about – STOP GIVING THE DEVIL CREDIT. Stop building up his portfolio.

As a child of God, we have the power to diminish the “press” that feeds the ego of our enemy.

And it’s not just sickness we give him credit for: We give him credit when we have financial issues. I don’t know about you, but he has NEVER written any checks on my bank account. They are all signed by ME.

We give him credit when the car breaks down. We give him credit when the utility bill is high. We give him credit when we have a wayward child. We give him credit when addiction takes over, or takes out, a life. We give him credit for everything that is unpleasant in our lives.

Wow.

All he really deserves credit for is being a great deceiver. And the father of lies. And one of those lies is that he is responsible for all our discomfort. He doesn’t care what kind of press he gets, as long as he gets it.

And this is all he’s getting from me today: He ain’t nothin’.

I counter the negative thoughts with this truth:

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

If it’s good, it’s God. If it’s not good…it originated with Adam’s disobedience and is either a product of that, or a result of a careless decision on my part.

Here’s what I know: I am a Kingdom dweller. The enemy does not live in my Kingdom. Move in here, and he stands on the outside with his tongue hanging out wishing he were one of US.

Come on guys, stop feeding his ego….Instead of “blaming” the enemy, or resigning to “it must be God’s will”….Start finding out what God’s will really is (look up the promises in the Bible), and make the devil a bad memory.

How many times a day do you examine what is on the bottom of your shoes? When you walk down the street do you think about what is under your feet? Well, he (enemy) deserves no more thought than the dust that gathers on the bottom of my flip-flops. He is under our feet (look it up). He is so far beneath a Kingdom dweller that he doesn’t even know what color the soles of my shoes are (no, that’s not in the Bible – just putting him in his place).

Death, sickness, bad stuff….Not God’s fault…not God’s intention and not within the devil’s power in a believer’s life.

Take charge of your life. Put him in the trash where he belongs. Put God on the throne where HE belongs….and begin to thrive….Amen.

SomeTimes I HaVe to SpeaK OuT...

I could write an essay on this...but I am going to try to stick to a paragraph....
I have lived almost 6 (count 'em) decades and I have seen many presidential elections...Some of them, I was actually old enough to remember..
Without fail, in each election, the word "Anti-Christ" was brought out in public rhetoric...This becomes more prevalent "as we see the day approach."

Granted...many politicians ARE "anti" Christ...(and, by the way, so are many Religious leaders)....But none have been THE Anti-Christ (despite predictions).
Can I tell you something? The devil is a deceiver. As are many in politics. When that Anti-Christ comes, you know, the one the Bible tells us about...most of us - even the theological, ecclesiastical born-again US...are not going to recognize him....Don't deceive YOURSELF...(He ((Satan)) owns the patent on that - let him keep it) ....The man (or men) you are accusing of being this infamous character - is (in all probability) not him...I mean, HITLER wasn't even "him"... You haven't seen him yet...you probably won't recognize him when you see him...in fact, he may embody the very political platform that you support...that, after all, is what DECEIT is all about....
If you don't like the man in office, that's your privilege...but don't try to make him THE anti-Christ. This finger-pointing, spotlighting, political witch-hunt needs to stop in our country...it is so very unbecoming and it is so much of a determent to the cause for Christ....
If anyone had to described the "Christian" political soap-box "preachers"....I seriously doubt that the word "LOVE" (which, by the way is what GOD is)...would even be considered.
Give it a rest....
We do better to set our minds on things above....
And now...I have spoken out....
Godspeed!